Dr. Alexander Stradivarius Stacavan's Blog

Life don’t need to be so frickin’ serious

saychi5 — Wed, 08 Dec 2010 05:30:23 +0000

Let me start off by saying that “I have an inferiority complex but it’s not a very good one.”

This has been a problem for me of late. I guess cuz I’m so damn awesome. I’ve tried to suck but it’s just so dang hard for me. I went up to a girl in a bar and told her I was the worst lover in the history of the world and she told me to prove it. So I took her home to meet my wife.
This didn’t really happen but it makes for a good story. Could you imagine if I had taken her home to see my mother in law. That would make for an even better story. Especially if she liked her more than my wife.
My point is that life doesn’t have to be so dang serious all the time. We’ve all put so much on our plates that we fail to see the humor in the fact that it really doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things what we do with our lives. We get so caught up in finding the perfect job and the perfect mate and forget to do what’s really important. LAUGH! Even if you feel like there’s nothing there to laugh about, laugh anyway. Seeing the humor in the good, bad and ugly is just the way to see your way through times that seem a little rough. When you feel like nothing is going your way just smile. Even if you have to fake it till you make it. Seeing the worst in a situation can be funny too. But surrounding yourself with humor can be just the ticket to finding your way through life. First of all it helps you lighten the mood and free up your mind for creativity that a sullen mood can keep you from. That is why I myself and my 47 other personalities decided to create the CSRRC (The Center for the Study of Redundancy Research Center), which is a place of lower learning that is sure to make not the slightest impact on the world at large. However the world at small is a different population altogether.
If you are one of those people who needs a little more humor in your life then keep in contact with me Dr A.S.Stacavan.
For those who don’t know it, I am an uncertified professor of Bovine Scatology and the author of a book which is sure to make a large difference in the way you look at life. This book is called “Why Life Sucks and How to Find your true purpose in the Suck of it all!” I have been putting off the release of it for awhile now but because it is so awesome I am releasing to the public now. Stay tuned and keep laughing.
P.S.-If you would like my collection of collected funny quotes I will sell it to you for free dollars and absolutely no sense whatsoever.

Answering important questions such as “How much wood could a woodchuck really chuck?” and Who is this Chuck guy anyway?

saychi5 — Wed, 28 Jul 2010 06:23:24 +0000

We here at the CSRRC have been getting no questions on the topics that we have not really covered, so, in the spirit of contributing much needed unsolicited advice, we have decided to answer some of those questions that haven’t been asked. First question we will explore is “How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?” Well, first of all, does anyone really have that answer or really care to answer such a question? Truth be known, we have heard this question asked a thousand times, at least, here at the Center and we have discovered that the real question should be “who is Chuck, anyway?” Well here is the answer. Chuck is a guy who I, Dr Alexander Stradivarius Stacavan, had a few drinks with back in my college days. We would talk about things that we would discover, the more drinks we had, had no relevance to themselves, whatsoever, until we reached a point of inebriation that the only question that really mattered was where the porcelain throne was and how fast we could get there. You see, questions like how much wood a woodchuck could chuck are irrelevant when you don’t consider the details such as “what kind of wood it is and how much wood costs these days”. What you really need to consider is the firmness of the wood and if the wood is going to be used for any valuable purpose. Can a woodchuck make an entertainment center or chairs to watch movies from. Well, since I wouldn’t likely feel comfortable sitting in a chair made of wood to watch these movies, nevermind the fact it was made by a woodchuck, if in fact a woodchuck could make these furnitiorial items(thats right I made up a new word), then it really is of no real value to hire a woodchuck anyway. My point was….I don’t think I really had a point. I guess that’s the point. Some questions have no real answers but if they are irrelevant and we come across them we will probably just avoid the question all together and talk about something just as, if not more, irrelevant as the original question. That’s what we do here at The Center for the Study of Redundancy Research Center. In closing if you have any questions or comments on this matter please feel free to leave them and we may or may not read them, depending on how important we feel they are. The less the better. So in double closing be sure to check out our next blog on topics that are sure to make no real impact on the world at large, but as long as we’re entertained we will keep on blogging. Have an inconsequential day.

The Great Dr. is expected to speak live at the Conference for Redundant Research Conference

saychi5 — Tue, 20 Jul 2010 04:02:55 +0000

Dr. Stacavan is expected to speak at the Conference for Redundant Research Conference where he will speak on such topics as “why a person would park on a driveway and drive on a parkway”. He will be approaching the topics in a manner that only a humbly great man would understand, which eliminates all of the attendees at the conference(except the amazing Dr. Alexander Stradivarius Stacavan). The great Dr. will break the boundaries on the insignificant amount of research being done in B.S.s., otherwise known as Bovine Scatological studies. Since noone really has a vested interest in studying this topic, then he will probably drink much alcohol at the conference and entertain himself with lectures about why most people really suck and what makes him superior to all others, which only goes to prove why the Dr. is the most sincere contributor to the fine art and science of B.S.s. If you would like to join the great Dr. at the conference you can find him most days speaking at Murphy’s Irish Pub in Springfield, OH, where the conference is being held, contributing to the destruction of the few brain cells he has left.

New research being done at the CSRRC

saychi5 — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 23:29:17 +0000

The staff at The Center for the Study of Redundancy Research Center is undertaking research on the science of more research for the study of research that has an impact on those who realize how important the study of Bovine Scatology is on the world with all it’s importance on scholarly pursuits of more research. The staff’s devotion and submissiveness to the Great Dr. Stacavan only shows that their dedication to the great Doctor is imperative to the sanctification of future studies.

Dr. Cy Kobable, a member of the staff at CSRRC, believes, without a doubt that “greatness comes with associating with greatness, that which is no doubt the most admirable trait of the Great Dr. Alexander Stradivarius Stacavan.”

“I can’t say enough about the great strides that the Great Doctor has made in the study of Bovine Scatology and other perfunctorious superfluosities which especially focus on specific specialties relating to prosaic pursuits of mundane topics such as Bovine Scatology” replies a man of towering stature, Dr. Hari Deels, when asked about Dr. Stacavan’s contribution to matters relating to gratuitous matters.

“Although the Dr is supremely important, he will tirelessly spend an insignificant amount of time to trivial matters such as the study of humanistic anthropology and the plight of humanity as a civilization.” quotes the Great Dr Stacavan, from his speech made a moment ago, on trivial matters.

The message that the CSRRC wants the world to know is: “Irrelevant matters really don’t matter, especially when considering trifling matters such as insignificance, which of course does not include the Great Dr. Alexander Stradivarius Stacavan, who matters at a microscopic level.”

New Book by Dr. A.S.Stacavan to be released to the public

saychi5 — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 06:23:34 +0000

We here at The Center for the Study of Redundancy Research Center would like to announce the soon-to-be released awesome new book, by the Center’s founder, Dr Alexander Stradivarius Stacavan, entitled “Why Life Sucks and How to Find Your True Purpose in the Suck of it All!“ We are also dedicating ourselves to the latest research in the study of Bovine Scatology and other unrelated sciences. We take great care in not caring about anything that doesn’t directly involve what we care about. So, if it involves you, we probably don’t really care.

In this glorious book, the great Doctor shares with you Why you suck and what makes him so great as well as giving you some much needed unsolicited advice on why it is O.K. to suck. Here are just a few things others are saying about the Doctor and his new book.

What others are saying, about Dr. Stacavan, and his brand new, yet to be released, iconic bestselling book, Why Life Sucks and How to Find Your True Purpose in the Suck of it All!:

“Dr. Stacavan has really hit the nail on the head with his new book. Not only do people suck but he is totally awesome.”

New England Journal of Cyber Psychology

“The Great Doctor has done it once again with his book, “Why Life Sucks…” He explains that we as people suck, with a sensitivity that only a great communicator could.”

Dr. Howard Perowitz, The Institute of Superhuman Greatness

“In depth and with clarity and style, The Dr. details the enormous satisfactions experienced by those with the sense to recognize, and the courage to explore, why they suck and what makes him so great.”

Psychology Tomorrow

“Why Life Sucks… is a worthy successor to I’m OK, You Suck, going much further than it’s predecessor in suggesting how the crisis of sucking isn’t so bad, and even though you suck, you can learn a lot from the Great Dr.”

The New York Newspost

“AN ALTOGETHER ENGROSSING BOOK THAT IS SURE TO ENJOY WIDE POPULARITY FROM READERS WHO REALIZE WHAT GREATNESS REALLY IS….HAVING Dr. IN FRONT OF YOUR NAME.”

Psychological Library Journal

“A wonderful, intelligent, and (in the best sense) inspiring book about what it truly means to suck and how you as an inferior being can use it to your advantage.”

People Daily

“Dr. Stacavan’s work stands squarely in the American tradition of Thoreau, Emerson, Dale Carnegie, Norman Vincent Peale, Einstein, Anthony Robbins, and David Barry… The Doctor and his predecessors extol the admirable traits of grit, pluck, determination, and willingness to take initiative and accept individual responsibility for sucking and being great; the latter being the Doctor.”

Nobel Times Book Review

“Dr. Stacavan inspires me to be a better person, giving back when I feel it helps me out. I can’t think of a better role model. His new book is sure to sell billions of copies, and give hope to all those starving millionaires out there who don’t realize how much they truly suck and how great the Dr. is.”

Dr. Alexander S. Stacavan, Head Director, The Center For The Study of Redundancy Research Center

Any people or places mentioned in this blog are most likely fictitious and if you believe any of it you are gullible as hell and should be smacked a copious amount of times and in a myriad of ways. The book will be available soon, however.